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It’s hard for me to believe it’s almost Thanksgiving already. The year has seemed to have flown by. This year has been a pretty normal one. We’ve had ups and downs. Some really low downs. Honestly sometimes I don’t see how we made it through. But we have and will continue to. The holidays are approaching and right now my family is not in a good place with each other. Words have been said and as everyone knows once you says something, it can’t be taken back. Words can hurt just as bad a physical violence. I really try to make it a put to only say things I really mean. So far that has worked, most of the times I don’t regret saying what I have said. Maybe it was hurtful, but sometimes the truth hurts. I try not to say things in anger, because that’s when you get yourself in trouble, heat of the moment words usually aren’t something you really mean to say out loud.  After a recent argument between my sisters and I, I’m feeling bad. Not because of what I said, but because I hate fighting with her/them. I hate when the family is divided. Which makes it not easy for the coming holidays. My youngest is at an age right now that, she still feels like she’s a child, but wants to make grown up choices. My mom has always been there for us when we’ve needed help, but I feel like my youngest sister depends entirely too much of my mom’s generousity. And in that, she shows no respect. In the 2 weeks that she has been there, they’ve destroyed my mom’s house, which she just re-did. When I was her age I was already married, she said to me the other night “I’m sorry I’m not like you and get married and buy a house and have kids!” OK maybe that’s not for everyone, but she lives with her boyfriend, so what’s the difference? She has just excepted his excuses about why he doesn’t want to get married right now. They are buying a house, which is in only his name, and she doesn’t even question “why?” I think a parents job is always to help their children, but there also comes a time that their children are going to have to make a choice and deal with the consequences. If she’s living with her boyfriend, then he’s responsible for her. I just get upset seeing everything this way. I have tried to talk to her calmly and rationally, but it never seems to do any good. She listens, but doesn’t hear. We all have our areas of weakness. In the past I have been a push over and don’t stick up for myself. I’m trying to be better about that, but I also try to be the peacemaker. Maybe this time there is no peace to be made, maybe this time too much has been said to go back. I’m not on a side, but maybe people feel like I am. But sometimes I feel like everyone else has picked a side too.

I’ve been dealing with my own personal stuff. But when sisters argue it take center stage.

I feel thankful for my family and I hope that everyone can move on from here and have a peaceful life together. If not then I hope that everyone finds peace in their own way.

I haven’t had anything to blog about lately. But here goes one….

Picture a happily married couple. They have a couple of kids, a house, they are in all sense of the word content. But what happens when, someone from the past comes back. Someone that meant something, that at one point there had to be a decision between one or the other. The decision was made, but the “what if” has always been there. Now neither one of this happy couple would EVER cheat on the other. Those feelings could never take away from what they have.

But what do you do with those “what if” feelings? How do you stop thinking about it?

When I watch TV I always try to see if you are like that couple on the show. Or movies, you may see a couple that you would like to be like. Let’s compare some of the TV show couple past and present…who would you most identify with?

Meredith and Derek (Grey’s Anatomy) she’s been in love with him since the beginning, the played hard to get, his now ex-wife almost ruined it. Now together, sweet sappy kissy. Ewww!

Morticia and Gomez (Addams Family) he obviously adores her, but who wants to live in that big creep mansion with a hand that crawls around.

Joey and Pacey (Dawson’s Creek) Ok so I LOVE Joshua Jackson, so I NEVER liked them together, she needed to be with Dawson. They were both whiney and annoying.

Kevin and Winnie(Wonder Years) typical young love, all cute until she realized there were other guys and she moved on and then moved away. Can’t remember how did it end?

Angela and Jordan(My So Called Life) In the beginning I could SO identify with Angela, I loved him and he was WAY TOO cool for me. We started dating on the down low. He wasn’t always very nice to me, but I put up with it.

Homer and Marge (The Simpson’s) lazy over weight slob, do it all mom.

Cliff and Claire (the Cosby Show) doctor dad, lawyer mom, 5 pretty well behaved kids that all grow up to be successful.

Al and Peg (Married with Children) sit at home mom, hard working shoe salesman dad, 2 kids, no respect.

Dan and Roseanne (Roseanne) middle American family hard working dad. Loud controlling mother……..GUILTY! I think this couple is most like us. He works hjard to make sure we have everything we need, I can be on the loud controlling side. But we love each other no matter what.

OK, I am pretty open minded on this subject. This is what I feel, I believe in the Bible, and the Bible was written by men, that God gave the information to, right? So who’s to say that people today do not possess this power? Why is it so hard to believe that someone can do this? Just like today no one would believe a “virgin birth.” Now on the same note I do believe that there are “psychics” that are out to get your money, those ones on the TV that charge like $5 per minute. I would NEVER call one of those. But I did how ever come across a “baby psychic” from a friend. I figured what the heck. I emailed her, it cost a total of $6. (She also offers free readings, but not as detailed) I figured since I had my tubes tied, she would be able to see that and tell me that I wasn’t going to have anymore children. All she asked me for was a picture. I sent her my picture, she went on to tell me that I would become pregnant with a girl, this March (meaning next month) and she went on to tell me what she would look like, when she would get married and how many kids she would have. She also told me that I would have a little boy just shy of 2 years after that. It was all in good fun, I’m not playing the lottery or anything. So just for kicks I found another “baby psychic” and emailed her this one cost me $4. She told me the same things (to the date)  as far as when I would get pregnant and the due date and that it was going to be a girl. This of course freaks my husband out TOTALLY! So we shall see. Just wondering what everyone’s take is on this? Do you believe? How do you think they BOTH came up with the SAME information at DIFFERENT times? With no further information to “feed” off of. Now I will say that she has told women that she didn’t see any more children in their future, so she doesn’t give everyone a sun shiny answer. And I have seen where she has been off by a month either way.

Also…I’m always one to try things out. On Unsolved Mysteries they have done a piece on the African Fertility Statues that the Ripley’s museums displays. I saw this a couple weeks ago on TV, I proceeded to look them up online and saw that they were in Florida. I told hubby, hey it’s just a short 10 hour drive we can go down and touch them and see what happens. Well that was a NO GO. So I checked out the cities on the tour. Wouldn’t you know it, they are going to be in Myrtle Beach, SC for the entire month of February. Which is only about 1 1/2 hour drive from where we live. So I asked since they’re closer can we go down and I can touch them? He said NO at first because he doesn’t want any more babies, but then I threw in, “if you don’t believe in it, what can it hurt?” He couldn’t argue that, so we’re making the trip. We will see what happens!!

Anyone out there had this work for them? I’m interested to know!

In my adult life I have never wanted to “Keep up with the Joneses.” We don’t have new furniture and honestly what we have, we got for free. It doesn’t match, but I figure with kids and pets, what’s the point. We don’t have state of the art electronics, our TV is more then 8 years old, it’s not a flat screen and it’s only 27″. There’s usually a pile of laundry on the couch. There’s usually dishes in the sink. Our house is small, too small if you ask me. And it’s not much to look at. Our walls are banged up, have scratches. We have one van, that we have to share and it’s 9 years old.  All I’ve ever wanted was a friend that I knew wouldn’t judge me for my house being a wreck, and that’s on a good day. I’ve always wanted that friend that could just come over, shove the clothes aside and be comfortable. But I really don’t think that a person like that exsists. Because in some way or another people will judge you. I don’t fit in with the “in” crowd. My clothes are not name brand, I feel most comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt. I don’t wear make-up, unless it’s a special occassion. Usually my hair is pulled up and looking wind blown. It’s obvious to people who see me that I don’t put alot of effort into myself. Sure there are things that I want, a new camera, pretty much being the only thing right now, but I choose to do for my children instead. Sure they have too many toys, too many clothes, TV’s in their bedrooms. But they’re happy and that makes me happy. I devote 100% of myself to them, except when I’m sleeping, LOL. To alot of people children an object of convience, available when it’s needed to make appearances. I’m not saying I’m a better mother then anyone else, just different, I fall short, I know this. I just don’t understand sometimes. I am, who I am. And while people will say they don’t judge others, I know they do, everyone does. Sometimes family can be an even worse judge. It’s sad, that even as adults most of us act like high schoolers and run with cliques. Put ourselves on a pedistool and think we’re better then others. I myself have done this. But in recent years, even months, I have tried really hard to look beyond outward things and focus on what’s inside. I have tried to please people, become something I’m not, but I’m done. I really don’t care anymore. I have a husband and kids who love me, I have Jesus as my Savior, I am happy. I’m done searching for the things I don’t have. I’m content with my mix-matched furniture, my dirty dishes, my un-folded clothes. Because that is just stuff, it does not make me how I am, it does not define me. Sure if my house was spotless, then maybe people wouldn’t think I was “dirty”, but how much time do people with spotless houses spend cleaning, and who much time do they spend doing other things. People with state of the art electronics either have money to burn or have to pay on credit. Which I’m proud to say, we don’t have credit cards and the only thing we have a loan on is our house. I guess I don’t understand why people want to have top of the line stuff. Sure it’s nice to have nice things, but what’s the reason? Does it make you more happy to watch TV on a 51″ screen TV with surround sound? Is a $1500 couch more comfortable then a mix-matched one? Does a brand new car get you from point A to point B a different way then an older one? Are new brand clothes more comfortable then jeans and a t-shirt? No they just cost more! If someone can explain it please feel free.

They always say if you don’t expect anything you will never be disappointed. This is something that I pretty much live by. I don’t expect anything from anyone. But this poses it’s own problem, people get used to you not expecting anything of them, so they don’t even try. My husband is one of those people, because men in my life haven’t held a very high status I tended to just do what needed to be done and never ask him to do anything because I knew he either wouldn’t do it or he wouldn’t do it right. The downfall of that is that everything is left  on my shoulders. And now that I want things to change, he’s taking more effort on all of our parts.

I try really hard to not put people on a pass or fail basis. I’m a pretty open person, and tend to get walked on by those closest to me. I don’t know why I let it happen, it’s just the way I am I guess. I guess in that sense I’m a people pleaser. I guess I need to find a balance.

I mean this is the most sincere way and in no way pass judgement on anyone.

Why do people choose to live together, sometimes have children together, but never get married?

Why is that anymore of a commitment then living together or having kids?

I personally think that having children, is more of a commitment to someone than anything. Could someone answer this? I’ve asked several people and they can’t really give me an answer that makes any sense.

Just curious.

I just finished reading the book Twilight the movie come out next week. I loved loved loved this book. It was one of those stories you could lose yourself in. I felt myself, feeling what they were feeling. It was awesome. I know some people don’t /won’t  like it. But for me I’ve already started the net book in the series. I have become attached to the characters, when I was reading I felt like I knew them. It was a book I couldn’t stop reading. It was more then a vampire story it was a love story, and a great one at that. The way she gives all the details, you can put yourself right there in the scene with them. I love imagining what the place and people looked like. I hope the movie does the book justice.

I don’t want to spoil anything incase some of you haven’t read it. But we only hope to find even a fraction of that kind of love in our lifetime.

This is an email I received and as a Christian have been thinking about alot. I don’t follow the politics. I think no matter who gets in there they are going to make mistakes, they are going to go back on their word, an ultimately fail in someones eyes. Just read this and think about it. I do not profile. But read the signs…

These are actual events, they really happened…

1. 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by a Male Muslim extremist.

2. In 1972 Munich Olympians were kidnapped and massacred by Male Muslim extremists.

3. In 1979, US embassy in Iran was taken over by Male Muslim extremists.

4. During the 80’s a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon, by Male Muslim extremists.

5. In 1983, US Marine barracks in Beirut were blown up by Male Muslim Extremists

6. In 1985, the cruise ship Achille Lauro was taken over and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by Male Muslim Extremists

7. In 1985, TWA flight 847 was highjacked at Athens and a US Navy diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by Male Muslim Extremists

8. 1988, Pan Am flight 103 was bombed by Male Muslim Extremists

9. 1993 The World Trade Center was bombed for the first time by Male Muslim Extremists

10. 1998 US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by Male Muslim Extremists

11. 9/11/2001 need I say more…

12. 2002 War in Afghanistan against Muslim Extremists

13. 2002 US reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by…You guessed it…Male Muslim Extremists!

Do you see a pattern to justify profiling?

So to ensure we Americans NEVER offend anyone, particularly the fanatics intent on killings us airport screeners are no longer allowed to profile certain people…ABSOLUTELY NO PROFILING! Does anyone else think this could be used to their advantage next time?

The book of Revelation states…

The Anti-Christ will be a man, in his 40s, of MUSLIM descent, who will deceive the nations with persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE Christ-like appeal….the prophecy says that people will flock to him and he will promise false hope and world peace, and when he is in power, he will destroy everything.