Like this:

It’s hard for me to believe it’s almost Thanksgiving already. The year has seemed to have flown by. This year has been a pretty normal one. We’ve had ups and downs. Some really low downs. Honestly sometimes I don’t see how we made it through. But we have and will continue to. The holidays are approaching and right now my family is not in a good place with each other. Words have been said and as everyone knows once you says something, it can’t be taken back. Words can hurt just as bad a physical violence. I really try to make it a put to only say things I really mean. So far that has worked, most of the times I don’t regret saying what I have said. Maybe it was hurtful, but sometimes the truth hurts. I try not to say things in anger, because that’s when you get yourself in trouble, heat of the moment words usually aren’t something you really mean to say out loud.  After a recent argument between my sisters and I, I’m feeling bad. Not because of what I said, but because I hate fighting with her/them. I hate when the family is divided. Which makes it not easy for the coming holidays. My youngest is at an age right now that, she still feels like she’s a child, but wants to make grown up choices. My mom has always been there for us when we’ve needed help, but I feel like my youngest sister depends entirely too much of my mom’s generousity. And in that, she shows no respect. In the 2 weeks that she has been there, they’ve destroyed my mom’s house, which she just re-did. When I was her age I was already married, she said to me the other night “I’m sorry I’m not like you and get married and buy a house and have kids!” OK maybe that’s not for everyone, but she lives with her boyfriend, so what’s the difference? She has just excepted his excuses about why he doesn’t want to get married right now. They are buying a house, which is in only his name, and she doesn’t even question “why?” I think a parents job is always to help their children, but there also comes a time that their children are going to have to make a choice and deal with the consequences. If she’s living with her boyfriend, then he’s responsible for her. I just get upset seeing everything this way. I have tried to talk to her calmly and rationally, but it never seems to do any good. She listens, but doesn’t hear. We all have our areas of weakness. In the past I have been a push over and don’t stick up for myself. I’m trying to be better about that, but I also try to be the peacemaker. Maybe this time there is no peace to be made, maybe this time too much has been said to go back. I’m not on a side, but maybe people feel like I am. But sometimes I feel like everyone else has picked a side too.

I’ve been dealing with my own personal stuff. But when sisters argue it take center stage.

I feel thankful for my family and I hope that everyone can move on from here and have a peaceful life together. If not then I hope that everyone finds peace in their own way.

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