In my adult life I have never wanted to “Keep up with the Joneses.” We don’t have new furniture and honestly what we have, we got for free. It doesn’t match, but I figure with kids and pets, what’s the point. We don’t have state of the art electronics, our TV is more then 8 years old, it’s not a flat screen and it’s only 27″. There’s usually a pile of laundry on the couch. There’s usually dishes in the sink. Our house is small, too small if you ask me. And it’s not much to look at. Our walls are banged up, have scratches. We have one van, that we have to share and it’s 9 years old.  All I’ve ever wanted was a friend that I knew wouldn’t judge me for my house being a wreck, and that’s on a good day. I’ve always wanted that friend that could just come over, shove the clothes aside and be comfortable. But I really don’t think that a person like that exsists. Because in some way or another people will judge you. I don’t fit in with the “in” crowd. My clothes are not name brand, I feel most comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt. I don’t wear make-up, unless it’s a special occassion. Usually my hair is pulled up and looking wind blown. It’s obvious to people who see me that I don’t put alot of effort into myself. Sure there are things that I want, a new camera, pretty much being the only thing right now, but I choose to do for my children instead. Sure they have too many toys, too many clothes, TV’s in their bedrooms. But they’re happy and that makes me happy. I devote 100% of myself to them, except when I’m sleeping, LOL. To alot of people children an object of convience, available when it’s needed to make appearances. I’m not saying I’m a better mother then anyone else, just different, I fall short, I know this. I just don’t understand sometimes. I am, who I am. And while people will say they don’t judge others, I know they do, everyone does. Sometimes family can be an even worse judge. It’s sad, that even as adults most of us act like high schoolers and run with cliques. Put ourselves on a pedistool and think we’re better then others. I myself have done this. But in recent years, even months, I have tried really hard to look beyond outward things and focus on what’s inside. I have tried to please people, become something I’m not, but I’m done. I really don’t care anymore. I have a husband and kids who love me, I have Jesus as my Savior, I am happy. I’m done searching for the things I don’t have. I’m content with my mix-matched furniture, my dirty dishes, my un-folded clothes. Because that is just stuff, it does not make me how I am, it does not define me. Sure if my house was spotless, then maybe people wouldn’t think I was “dirty”, but how much time do people with spotless houses spend cleaning, and who much time do they spend doing other things. People with state of the art electronics either have money to burn or have to pay on credit. Which I’m proud to say, we don’t have credit cards and the only thing we have a loan on is our house. I guess I don’t understand why people want to have top of the line stuff. Sure it’s nice to have nice things, but what’s the reason? Does it make you more happy to watch TV on a 51″ screen TV with surround sound? Is a $1500 couch more comfortable then a mix-matched one? Does a brand new car get you from point A to point B a different way then an older one? Are new brand clothes more comfortable then jeans and a t-shirt? No they just cost more! If someone can explain it please feel free.